Monday, December 26, 2011

Smell the salty air







Went to Tanjung Karang today to stock up on seafood! My parents usually go there once a month (at least), my dad insists his seafood to be fresh. So my mum don't buy any seafood at the market! 

It is about an hour drive away from Puchong, a little bit further down Kuala Selangor. 

I normally don't follow my parents, but seeing I'm going to States next week, I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with them. Going to miss them SO much! 

I also brought my camera out, it's been too long since my last photography session! 




On the way there. 

We're there! 








Brother and sister. 







Small prawns. 


Fish





Rare bird... or not! 

Eel! It was dying on the ground and wiggling. Poor thing. Humans are cruel! See the cut on it's belly? I think they took out the swim bladder, aka fish maw. 

Sorting through the fresh batch of seafood.

Look at all the seafood that just arrived! 






Lunch time. 


The food was good! Though there wasn't many choices for dishes. But the seafood is all so fresh, the clam was insanely sweet. & my dad gave the best part of the fish to me! To me, the best part is the eyeball. I know it's gross blah blah blah. But only big sized fish have yummy gelatinous eyeballs okay.  


Stir fry vege

Asam eel (I'm not sure of it's english name. But my dad calls it 'toh sat')


Fried Squid! 

Steamed Clams

Steam fish head. 


Was the photographer, so no pictures of me. Except for the one on top, the only one. Heh. 

Anyway,
I just reached home. Really tired from the car journey due to the jam. & there are so many slow drivers on the road today!! Most of the roads exiting the area is a one lane road, so my dad was cutting lanes like a pro and we almost hit the car from the on coming traffic #neardeathexperience. 

Was listening to chinese radio stations in the car, emo ttm. Something about chinese songs all about love and loss. Made me so frustrated that I couldn't sleep, my mind was going haywire. ): 


About one more week till my departure #sigh #emo. 


Move on to happy things and talk about my Christmas (presents) soon. (: See you!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Last night I slept at 2am again... Was watching Taiwanese game shows on my phone to prevent myself from thinking stupid things. Lol. Still same ol' Sue Ann.

Also I was visitng random people's  guy's facebook pages. It occur to me that I'm attracted to this one type of men. & it is because I aspire to be people like them. Being a typical Virgo, I am really picky when it comes to myself. I'm harsh towards myself. & maybe that's why my past relationship ended up like this. Maybe I was too picky with him, trying to make him perfect. Well I have learnt my lesson towards to end of our relationship but I guess it was too late.

However, I do believe that I am capable of changing that bad habit of mine. I can actually feel that that nitpicking part of me is long gone. hahah. I guess that's the one good outcome of this break up.

I know I mention about the break up at almost every post. I'm sorry about that. I don't know why all of a sudden I feel like I'm moving backwards. I do have faith that I will eventually go back to the right track again.



Today is the 17th, Christmas is coming soon, then the farewell, then my departure. Maybe it's because it's the end of the year and it's making me slightly sad. This year hasn't been really good to me. To realize that my other half hasn't been faithful for months and months before finding out just pains my heart till today. & to know that my best friends already knew what happened and none of them told me, it's almost like another stab. I don't blame you girls though, I understand.

The funny thing is, even after all this things you have done to me, I don't hate you. Well I do hate you, but I don't hold a vengeance against you, nor do I want any revenge. It's not anger, it's more like disappointment. Yeah.


The days to my departure are quietly inching closer and closer everyday. At first I'm really excited, but I can feel the reluctance to leave taking over this excitement. I will miss you so much mum and dad. I'm actually tearing as I type this. I'm sorry that you have to be worried about me, and I'm sorry that you have to miss me. I won't let you down, I promise. I will miss my siblings to much, they make me smile everyday! & I feel really happy when I get to hang out with them - just listening to the songs in my iTunes library and cracking some lame jokes. They are the only ones who understands my humor without me feeling like a stupid person.




The feelings I have right now is ineffable. There are so many sad things happening at one go. At least that's what it feels like.

I'm going to Ikea now with Jia Jia. For some retail therapy, and buying materials to make gifts for my friends. Loving other people makes my day a little brighter.

Oh. & Dinner with Chia Li & Mel.

I'm so thankful to have friends in my life.  Oh, and Christmas too. I don't know why this year I feel like it's so important to celebrate Christmas. At times like these, I hold on to, and leech off, every reason to I have to be happy.




I hope reading my blog makes those who are having a tough time somehow feel better. You're not alone. Chin up! Christmas is coming! <3
Thursday, December 15, 2011

Another day

Just to show you how long my hair have grown. Cutting it soon! & also, some entertainment to my extremely long post.


Today I went to catch up with my very very old friend - Nicole! We were good friends when we were 14. & I don't think we have spoken much since then. Today we shared a meal together at Sushi Zanmai. It's a shame I only get to meet up  with her one more time before I leave, and that's during the farewell party. She's a really really nice girl, if I were a guy I would totally go for her. Prim & proper, pretty and well mannered... Isn't that what all guys want? Yet she is single. & her last relationship didn't went really well either. What's wrong with men? Or rather, what's wrong with us?

Last night I went for a dinner with Queennie. You can see her blog post on that here. It contains pictures of the delicious food (Japanese curry rice!!) & also our faces.


Been going out a lot since I don't know when, I hate staying at home. Thoughts start attacking my brain and it makes me incredibly miserable. I hope it's due to PMS & not other reasons.




xxx







I slept at 4am last night this morning, it's not that I cannot sleep. I just don't dare to put my phone down. I couldn't face my own thoughts. It's really like fighting my own demons. I cannot believe how the break up still hurts me. I know I'm supposed to come off strong and positive, I guess it's my moment of weakness right now. Do I really deserve what happened to me? Do I? Sigh, 'this too will pass'. I know I'll get better soon. Be patient, my dear self.



I was chatting with some friends whilst tossing and turning in bed. & combine all of that with the conversation I had with Queennie earlier last night, I made a discovery about myself. You know how everyone has a type? I sorta discovered mine! Queen has always known my type. hahah. Best friends. <3 She knows me better than I know myself sometimes. I love youuuu. (':



Anyway I'm feeling kind of down now. It's probably a combination of

1.
the gloomy skies. Raining everyday nowadays. ):


2.
2012 World end thing. It's all over National Geographic. I really don't wanna die, esp not away from home.


3.
Me leaving the country soon. I feel bad for making my parents worry about me, and paying for my education.


4.
Worrying about ending up in jail. I was watching this documentary earlier about women being caught trafficking drugs and they were locked up at Thailand. The condition of the jail is horrible. I'd love to elaborate on how disgusting and degrading it is but the length of this post is just too long.

I'm not going to traffick drugs. hahah. But I think one of the convicted woman who was jailed was somewhat tricked into it. So yeah.


5.
I've gained weight. ): ):


6.
I'm not a fan of the dinner my mum cooked. Sorry mum. I love your cooking but I don't like that dish.


7.
Tempted to bake a chocolate cake tomorrow, but refer to point 5.


8. 
Wanted to pay Snowflake a visit to get some dessert fix, but refer to point 5.


9.
Boredom.





Say hello if you actually read till here. Haha. Thanks for reading. (: See you next time! Take care (:
Sunday, December 11, 2011

Bonding





My 6 month long break is finally (almost) coming to an end! I'm leaving for the States on the 4th next month, today is the 10th. So, less than a month!! Wow. Excited and so nervous.

I have really enjoyed my 6 month long break. A lot has changed and I would like to think this 6 months taught me a lot. I've learnt how to cook dishes I never thought I'd ever learn! & made many new friends, and also done a lot of some growing up...


I booked air tickets to the States all myself, applied and got accepted to university all myself;
Applied for the American visa by myself, and soon, travel there by myself.

Maybe to you it's not a big deal; but to me it is. I've never done anything so independently. & for it to go so smoothly... it's just such a huge relief for me. Fingers crossed, I'd be able to board a plane, a cab and everything in between to get to the university smoothly too!



Also, of course, the break up caused a huge change in me. If you're a reader of my blog, you'd see JW has always appear here. I contemplated on deleting all the posts, but I cannot deny he is was? a part of me. Everybody has a past and he was mine. A part of my past. Sometimes I do miss him, but like Abi said, it's like missing a dead person. Dead person don't come back to life, you know. I just miss, and think about it silently and I don't dare to wish to relive it.

In a way I've changed since those days. I use to cry. A lot. About everything. My mum said that's why there's a mole at the corner of my left eye. It's the cry-baby-mole. Nowadays I don't cry anymore. & I think that means I'm a much tougher person. Maybe I have ran out of tears. Perhaps I'm too embarrassed to cry, even though I'm alone! My tears have become worthless to him and I. I do feel sad sometimes, but it's a miserable-calm feeling. I think the next time I cry would be when I bid farewell to my family while boarding the plane to uni. I'd tell you how that goes. Not crying after so long, maybe I won't cry that day cause I've forgotten how to.



I started to wear jeans a lot. I think that's a pretty significant change in me. I don't wear jeans cause I am convinced I look like I have elephant legs in them. I lost some weight in the past month, & I can finally wear jeans without feeling self concious! I so desperately want to maintain this weight when I go over to the States. Please, please don't come back a fat girl.



Thinking of having a 'farewell gatherin' for myself before I leave. Just to meet up with everybody at one go. Oh speaking of that, another different thing about me, I actually have people to invite to parties. Hahah. I know this is rather pathetic of me, but yeah. Not hundreds of people, not even 50. But it's good enough for me. I realize I have a lot of friends, and also like I said earlier, made a lot of friends. It's not confirmed yet, but I hope the plan materializes soon. (:







JW is coming back on Monday. Tomorrow. 
Dear higher power, please don't give me a relapse. I've came this far, don't pick me up and fling me back there. ): 
Saturday, December 10, 2011

Untitled.

Went bonding with Sze Ling and Tiffany today! Tifanny ish my new fwen. :) 

Had lunch at Plan B, Bangsar. Bangsar is the go to place for catching up, I can't think of any other spots. The food at Plan B is average, the price is average, but the portion is huge! None of us finish our food. The coffee is cheap-ish though, RM6 for a latte.

& Sze Ling ah, she looks good in every photo. I'm the one who needs to pick my photos, all her photo look damn good one. Somemore complain. I want to cry liaoz. 





This is my pasta. Mushroom something pasta. So so only, the mushroom very salty. 



Sze Ling and Tiff both ordered Carbonara. The portion is so big, 2 person can share.


Tiff & I 


 Sze Ling & I. She so piao niang.
















See you girls soon ;) ;)


This Wednesday I'm hoping to follow my baby brother's school trip to Aquaria. Can't wait to see fishes there! I love aquariums.


Edit.
Just came home from the bar with my parents and brother. I had another lime margarita. The last time I had one was a day before yesterday. Margarita so delicious.

I was gonna blog about kittens and puppies but I don't feel like it anymore. I actually feel kinda miserable now lol. Gonna sleep now. Good night. Chin up.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011

omg I'm blogging.

An attempt to revive my blog!

Today I went out with Erika & Yen to catch up. It's been forever since the last time we saw each other, so long that I don't even remember when was the last time. =.= Oh wait. It's not that long. LOL. never mind. 

Anyway we wanted to catch up for lunch and Yen brought me souvenirs from her recent trip to Aussieland! I didn't take a picture of it. It's the red color nougat thing. Yumz! Thanks Yen!




















Most of the pictures are on Facebook, I didn't want the pictures to be all repeated... 

I had such a good time catching up hehehe. Made me forget all my frustrations I have at the moment. So thankful to have you girls! Hope to see you all this Sunday. (: (: 


So anyway, I'm going for my American visa interview tomorrow! Waking up at the unholy hour of 6.30am, the last time I woke up so early was college. 

I can't wait for dinner. Oops I just remembered I'm supposed to be on diet. But saw what I ate? A whole pot of noodles and meat, it's already failed half way anyway. I'll start tomorrow. (pfft) 



Ok. That's it for today. See you soon! I'll definitely update more stuff here. Miss blogging! *mmuaaah*




 

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