I'm quite excited to go there, but at the same time I'm really scared. What if I get so extremely home sick? I'm definitely not the most independent girl. I have never even been camping, or any school trips that requires overnight. The first time I ever over night away from home (not counting sleepovers) was the Pangkor trip earlier this year (which feels like decades away).
I look forward to becoming a tougher person! I get hurt very easily. Too easily. I'll miss my family, especially my mum so much. ): I think I'd cry like mad when she leaves me. That would be the one reason I don't want to go. I'm worried that she'll miss me and then become lonely cause my siblings would be busy with school. ): ):
Anyway, this morning I went to the gym with Queennie. It was nice, exercising since so long. The only exercise I get these days are moving my jaw in an vertical motion. oh & climbing the flight of stairs to my room. After that we went for dim sum. In which I ate so very little, I admit. Don't know why, bad mood maybe.
Last night I barely slept, the coffee I had during lunch kept my brain working overtime. Moreover, before I sleep some stupid stuff happened. I would love to share but it would remind me of how shitty everything is.
I don't know how else does it have to happen for me to be able to accept it nicely. It's not like we should continue talking, and not talking isn't really the way to go either.
& you. YOU. Since when do you give a flying fuck what's happening to me? Please. Go away. I don't want to subject myself to more hurt. I can never really get over what happened to me. My heart just forgets the way it hurts. & with you trying to 'talk to me' & 'be there for me', please just do me a favor and disappear.
*deleted like freaking 2 paragraphs.*
Wounds everywhere. So much for thinking I've almost healed. people just have to pick the scabs.