Monday, September 20, 2010

I've messed up.

Many times I've heard people saying they're biggest regret is not studying hard enough. I was browsing through Xia Xue's old blog entry, about how she regrets her pass decision - not studying hard enough

I can feel how she felt while writing it.

I'm still an A-Levels student, I have not taken my AS paper. But I will be, in 3 weeks time. Here I am, blogging, dying my hair, painting my nails, basically wasting my time. While my peers are studying and fending for their ambition. They certainly aim for the moon, accountants, lawyers. Most of them, if not all, aim to go to the best university.

What about me? I sit here bitterly, saying, I don't like to study. I'm going to study locally.

I do not come from a poor background, I know that my family can afford for me to go to any universities in the world. My dad has been telling me since I was young that he is saving up for me to further my studies.

It has never occur to me how foolish and arrogant I am, to say I dislike studying, it is not my forte. Thus, I will not study and I just, couldn't be bothered.

I have never thought that until now.

I am not a bad student, I know. When I see my friends get their As, I know I am capable of that too. I am not being conceited. I have been in elite class in primary school, scored straight As for my PMR. That must meant something right?

When I was Form 4, I really loathed all the subjects, and I did not like to go to class. Up till June, I'm still thinking of changing stream to Arts. Chemistry and add math drove me up the wall! I failed these 2 subjects almost every term. Even when I pass, I pass by 1 mark. I once got 18 for my additional math.

During SPM, I managed to get an A for everything except math and chemistry. I got a B+ for both. I'm not sure if that a good thing? Since they say SPM standard is real low. 

Anyway, say I stuck by my decision that I'm not made to study. I'm sure that I will look back to this day and regret it so much.

I agree with XiaXue, today's society is all about a piece of paper - certificate. Make it or break it, it's all down to this piece of paper. It basically defines you, whether would you be respected, or be looked down upon, it's up to my qualifications. It is unfair to judge a person by a piece of paper, but that's the way it is!

By saying what I say, it is like throwing away my chances to even try to obtain a cert and giving up before testing the water.


I'm really glad that I stumbled upon her entry today. It really inspired me to seize this chance of education and try my best instead of slacking and avoiding reality. In other words, I was being an arrogant and stupid coward.

I convince myself that the situation is not that bad, and live my days without any goals. Heck, I'm even proud of that at one point! Instead of moving towards the goal, I just float around. Doing whatever that makes me feel happy. I thought that everything will fall into place when it comes down to it, you know?

Like, eventually, I'll figure it out. Eventually, I'll do it. Eventually, I'll know. But when does eventually, eventually comes? Never.

I must stop living my days like this! Whining and complaining, while not doing anything about it. I've been stupid and lazy, and yet not realising it!

I promise that I will never procrastinate from this moment on, and live my days towards my goal. Meanwhile, my goal would be scoring for AS. Few months from now, you will be hearing good news from me on this blog.

Here is the link to XiaXue's blog entry, I hope it inspired you as much as it inspired me. Time is precious,and when you look back, there's not space for you to remorse. We're still young and we still are able to change our future, so lets wear an iron suit and start working our asses off. I assure you that you will not regret it.
Sunday, September 19, 2010

RAIN RAIN GO AWAY

It's 11.42pm now and raining cats and dogs! I'm supposed to shower but my brother once told me that I'll get shocked by the lightning if I shower when it's raining.

As much as I want to, I cannot sleep without showering. Don't judge me okay! I've been out the whole day! Bought some stuff.

Stuff as in 3 tank tops from Banana Republic, they are identical but different colours, so now I have 4 same tank tops. I just realise I bought the salesman gave me the brown one instead of pink one that I picked! Shit damn lazy to go back and change. Hate it when this happens lo. Anyway, I just love the cutting and the pale colours, also tank tops are so versatile okay. Can go with anything! Looks good with mini skirts, jeans, under jackets, shorts, everything. Love it. Okay the photo cannot really see the colour, it's yellow, green and brown and pink. Nice or not? I bought RM165 for 3, I actually bought the yellow one earlier on. Bought the other 3 today.



I bought a chocolate colour nail polish from Revlon. Watson's now got promotion, buy 1 free 1, in other words, RM10 for one bottle since usually it's RM20 for one bottle. It looks good enough to eat, now I have yummy nails. The gold colour I have one noe is not bad right? Actually bought it from Tokyo few years back. You know how nail polish normally smell deadly? This one smells like flowers, so damn amazing. Japanese are so awesome.



Also, I bought another pack of Liese Glossy Brown hair dye. They're pretty effective I guess, I dyed it once already but the colous is not obvious enough for me. So since I'm already saving a bunch from colouring it in the saloon, I bought one more to dye it again. Lol the photo of the girl in front of the box so cinapek right. Her nose so big.

And.. a tube of Oxy-5 Pimple Cream. I know, so un-glam after all the glam stuff I bought. Oh well, I have zits okay. I don't like it, but since I'm so lazy when it comes to skin care I probably deserve it. At least it's not too bad!



Crap it's still raining, so super heavy, that got thunder and lightning type of rain you know. I must shower anyway. I hope I won't get electrocuted! Should rain when I'm asleep maa, why now. D:
Saturday, September 18, 2010

A LONG ONE.

I just came back from Penang yesterday! It was initially a 3 days 2 nights trip, but the hotel sucked so bad, we decided to cut it short. Also, there wasn't much to do there.

So it was about 10am in the morning when we leave, and we reach Kuala Kangsar to eat lunch. So it was a really small village like place and my dad said the food there is yuh-mee. They serve normal chinese food, their specialty is really fresh fish. My dad said everything there is organic, just because it's a village. Lol, I don't know about that.


 

Clockwise from left top: 
Steamed Patin Fish, Fried Chicken, Claypot Catfish, Pork Ribs and fishball-like things.


After the break we continue the journey to Penang. It took longer than I thought! Passed by all the mountains and forests. I was so happy when we reach there, passed by the Penang bridge. My brother, Heng Jian, as always is fascinated with the sea. 





So after that we checked into the horrible hotel, Gurney Hotel. It's so old! We seldom come to Penang, so I thought Gurney is pretty reputable, so I stayed there. I didn't take photos of the gross stuff because I was grossed out. We stayed at the 2 bedroom suite. So it was fully carpeted, but the carpet felt dirty. The toilet floor tiles had some black greenish moss growing out of it. The service was just as bad. We arrived the hotel at 3.30pm, and the room wasn't ready till 4.30pm. The front desk wasn't apologetic about it either, she was on the phone for so long. Moreover, I already specificaly told them we probably arrive at 3pm! So yeah.

The only nice thing about the room was the view. The towels were limited, there were only 1 towel in the whole room. So yeah, there was no system and it sucks. The phone was not working either! The button linking to the front desk was shit.  However it was really cheap la, RM450++ for a 2 bedroom suite. So I guess I can't blame em?





So anyway, during the 1 hour delay, we went to Lorong Selamat for the  Char Koay Teow and ice kacang. Sadly they weren't open that day, so we had some other char koay teow and ice kacang at some other coffee shop. It's not bad, but unworthy of a mention? Plus I didn't take photos of it.


At night, we went to Goh Swee Kee Restaurant, credits to Jun Wei who recommended it.


The dish on the left is my absolute FAVOURITE. I forgotten to take photos of the rest.

So after that, we wanted to check out of the Gurnet hotel and stay at G Hotel, it is at the same row, which probably had the same sea view. So G hotel is more expensive than Gurney, but undoubtedly much much more swanky. I should have done my research and booked that instead. It was RM1020 or around there for a 2 bedroom suite. We wanted to see if we can check out from Gurney Hotel before booking there, so just took a name card and left.

Beside G Hotel is Gurney Plaza ( I think ), so we went to have a walk. In my opinion, there's no use doing shopping at other states. I'm sure KL has what they have. The shops were pretty similiar to the ones at KL, other than Versace Jeans. I don't think there's Versace Jeans in KL? So anyway, my brother wanted to go to Toys R' us...




And Gurney Plaza is right next to the infamous Gurney Drive food stalls. I know the food there is over rated, but we went anyway, as typical dumb tourists!


Right, the food is not good. Some is not even the 'okay' standard! i tried one bowl of asam laksa which is not spicy at all, instead it is sweet. So yeah. But the atmosphere is great.

So that's it for the day! Wanted to go to Pulau Tikus Wet Market for Char Koay Teow and Curry Mee but I didn't know the way. The GPS didn't seem to know either...



The next morning, we woke up being so uncomfortable because 3 person had to sleep on a super king size bed. Don't be fooled by the term 'super king sized', it's still pretty small when 2 adults and one 11 year old sleeps on it together sharing one blanket. I was too tired to notice but my mum said the sheets smelled weird. Oh no. Cannot help but wonder if it's been washed since the last guest?


Anyway we immediately packed up and check out of the hotel, it was between checking into G hotel, or go home. We chose to go home because there's no where like home, and we don't know what else to do in Penang.  We had our awesome last meal(s) before bidding goodbye-farewell-I'm-never-coming-back.

We had brunch at Song River, at the Gurney Drive row, facing the sea. We ate here the previous time we came, I think it's pretty damn good! 



clockwise from left top: fried egg and prawn ( it looks and taste damn amazing! Like half steamed and half fried? ), pork stomach soup, deep fried prawn meat & sengkuang wrapped in foo chok and claypot fish head. The sauce for the claypot fishhead is very nice! Loves.


My brother who's fascinated with the ocean wanted to go sit at the pavement so I went with him and took some photos. It was pretty smelly there, with the salty water and muddy beach! Result of people throwing rubbish over there. I can't help but wonder what would it look like if the beach is actually clean, and the sea is blue instead of a murky brown. ):




We also went to Ghee Hiang, what's a trip to Penang without buying the famous biscuits made with pork lard?



Finally went to Lorong Selamat for the iconic Char Koay Teow and Ice Kacang. How many times have I mentioned Char Koay Toew in this post?!



and that marks the end of my Penang trip.



I would say the trip doesn't exactly rock? But the company is certainly great. I love every moment spent with my good ol' family. They're so funny and annoying at the same time! I love them to teeny weeny little bits. From the 4 hour long car ride through hutans and mouldy hotel, I cherish every second of it. <3


Signing off! This post took me SHO long! & I have 2 more things to blog about, my brother's birthday and my outing today! Will update soon if I have a chance to, since bloody college is starting soon. D:










Sunday, September 12, 2010

Would you save my soul tonight?





What makes you happy?



I like to spend my time doing nothing, it makes me happy. Is that a sin?

I like to spend my time cooking, talking to my mum, eating in the kitchen, playing badminton with my siblings, day dreaming.

It makes me happy.



THE REST IS DELETED DUE TO EXTREME NEGATIVITY. 

: D







However,

I know, there are things that I am supposed to do, in order to keep being happy (?) Such as, filing up all my notes, studying, read books? But I don't like to do such things! It makes me unhappy, well not exactly unhappy. I just prefer to be downstairs hanging out with my family.

(For some reason, I feel that children who are upstairs all the time are not filial)


I feel like such a horrible person because I hate to be doing things that I am supposed to do, instead I waste my time away! I know I complain a lot, and not many people can take my rants. I know I'm complaining but yet not doing anything about it, I don't need you to tell me.

Gosh I feel like such a wreck now. Do I have to change? Must I? I don't think I can change into that kind of person! I'm just not the type who likes to study and do stuff so prim and proper. There are people who are in to that kind of things right? Or, everyone are just like me, but they are more well disciplined and do not behave like me?




xx.



At the end of the day, I know I'm the one who is wrong, the way I am behaving. I know I have to change, though I REALLY don't think I can.
 

Sorry for this horrible post. I don't know who to talk to. & I'm contradict myself like that. So miserable




The

Would you save my soul, tonight?

Sigh, can't believe I'm going to bed mad. I hate speaking to drunk people, hate it. They say things they probably don't mean, or say stupid things. My dad does that, and Jun Wei to that too. I absolutely hate it.


Oh well.


Saw from Facebook, 30 days to AS. Stupid boy. I'm sorry if I ruin your day, but my day's ruin so your day cannot rock.


sigh. Don't know what to say. Going to sleep and rot. 
Friday, September 10, 2010

Distance makes the heart go fonder

This is ridiculous. He better misses me as much as I miss him now or else. I'm up waiting for him to come online, he said he would.

How am I supposed to survive the period of him studying at UK?

Oh well. At least I'd love him more.


Anyway, tomorrow I'm meeting up with my super old friend Queennie! I'm excited, but part of me is dreading it because I haven't seen or spoke to her since form 2? I don't really remember, but it has for sure been more than 3 years or something! Feels like a long time anyway.

I want to drive to her house to pick her up then go to Pyramid together, but I don't think my parents would allow that. & also, Jun Wei doesn't want me to do that. He thinks Puchong and Sunway is some madhouse where everyone drive like mad people. Well then, I live in Puchong, therefore I live in the madhouse, therefore I drive like a mad person! I blend in well with the crowd here, Mr. Hartamas Boy.

 
Thursday, September 9, 2010

22 months!

It's finally the much awaited holidays! During my trials, I've been so desperately looking forward to this. I don't think I tried hard enough for my trials, as always, but I really shouldn't be talking about that now.

So since the holidays started, I haven't been doing much. & that's a great thing!I'm totally relaxed, but deep inside I'm anxiously counting down to the start of the college and AS.

On last Tuesday, I went hanging out with Yen Yen and Xin Pin. It was nice, since I havent been going out with girls for a VERY LONG TIME. I guess that's the thing with having boyfriends. haha, but I'm not complaining. I'm don't exactly have many friends. I guess I'm not a very social person, which is a bad thing! & sad to say, sometimes I feel lazy to make friends. It's easy to make friends, but difficult to mantain the friendship. You know?

Jun Wei is like my bestfriend and my boyfriend. Many said that they're jealous of that. Really, this is the kind of relationship I have with him. I bitch about other people to him, I complain about college to him, I go shopping for stuff with him, I date him, I bake with him. Also, I NEVER lied to him. Ever. I know right, this is so innocent. I think honesty is the best policy. Cliched, but cliched things are true!

My life kind of surrounds him, socially. I have thought that if I lose him, I'd not only lose a boyfriend, I'd lose my bestest best friend. He knows ALL my secrets. Even my most embarassing ones and  those which I am ashamed of. Is this unhealthy? My secrets are not that dark, not like a murdered someone or anything like that! I don't have many secrets either. But still, it is really nice to have someone to talk to, even about the most unattractive ones.


xxx


Yesterday, Jun Wei came to my house and I made a chicken pie! Would post that photo up, but the photo's with him, and he's at Johor now. Johor is his hometown where all the Lammies belong. Hahah.

My dad gave him a bottle of whisky. It's like my dad's new found favourite drink, and he bought a dozen of them. I'm really surprised that my dad gave that to him, I thought he disapproved me dating. Not disapprove Jun Wei, but the whole thing about me dating. So I'm pretty happy about that, I see a friendship there LOL. Jun Wei's dad liked the drink and would like to return the favour by inviting us to dinner (according to Jun Wei). I secretly hope that he wouldn't actually ask, because it'll probably be one of the most awkward thing ever. RIGHT?










Monday, September 6, 2010

RANDOM 10




1.  
I should really study for AS levels.


2. 
I'm going to make the world's best chicken pie tomorrow.


3. 
Too much durian is not good for health.


4.
I love hanging out with girls and stay in a shop for so long, ending up buying nothing.


5.
My tummy's huge and I cannot 'go'. The 'time' of the month is definitely coming, although it's crazilly delayed.


6.
I had a cold pill just now that is supposed to make me super drowsy, but it has no effects on me. D:


7.
My hair is dripping wet. I hate to blow dry my hair.


8.
After this I'm going to put on the face mask I bought from The Face Shop. The masks there works for me! & they smell very nice too! Not too overly perfumed, but a faint hint of fruity smell. Loves!


9. 
I have a love-hate relationship with driving.


10.
BYEBYE !
Saturday, September 4, 2010

Happy Belated Birthday!

Note: Photos are taken with iPhone. Iphone has no flash, so photos are really dark. Thus, I editted them to make them brighter. But, the quality is still pretty bad. But it's better than no photos right.



Jun Wei lovingly drive me from Puchong. He lives like 10 minutes away from Pavillion and he drove from his home to Puchong and down to KL again. Say awwww!




Cam whoring while stuck in jam. Jun Wei insisted that I take pictured of him. How vain for a guy. Hahah.

While being stuck in a jam, I think we were in the car for like half an hour to move like 4 km? I got realy impatient to find out what my present was... I reached to the back and I found it! I was too excited and did not take photo of how it look like before I rip open the ribbon and wrappings...




It's a Swarovski necklace. The red one's a Ruby and the green leaf is I don't know what crystal. So cute right. Even though I'm not much of a necklace fan, but I really really like it. I think it will go really well with T-shirts because of the black string. I love it. Thank you baby for getting me this. I like it very much.



After little directions from Yen Yen (we didn't know how to get to the El Cerdo from Jalan Bukit Bintang), we finally reached. And we're early.! But we were seated and we ordered.




We were served a small warm cup of mushroom soup and a basket of bread. On the house. (:

Not long after, our food came!

First to come was a Tapas. Jun Wei ordered it, it was one of his favourites here. He frequents El Cerdo A LOT more than I do. I don't even 'frequent' here. I came twice only.

Anyway, this sauteed mushrooms was yummy! It's all sweet and juicy, with onions and garlic. Salty enough. Very tasty. And I'm like a big fan of all kinds of mushrooms!



Next was this burrito-wrap like thing that Jun Wei ordered. It's like a pork floss wrap. I'm not a big fan of wraps. But I really liked the salsa! The pork floss was really nice too. It's not like the pork floss sold at bak kua shop. it's real barbecued pork, shredded. Again, I was too excited and did not take a photo of it when it first arrived. Instead, I took a photo of it after the waitress transferred it into a smaller plate, due to lack of space on our table. The green sauce is an avocado-pine nut thing. I don't really like this dish. But like I said, love the salsa!





Next up was half a dozen of fresh oysters. I love fresh oysters. Especially smallish ones, I think those big oysters are so slimy in the middle! Makes me all nauseous... Maybe it's been too long since I had oysters? But these are yummy! It's not slimy, instead, almost crunchy. Lol. I don't know how to describe it. & the dipping sauce was awesome.



I was quite full after this oyster. I told Jun Wei that I might not be able to eat anymore! Then, the ribs came. Oven Baked Iberico Pork Ribs. I don't like oven baked things, cuz it gives me an impression it'll be all soft and moist. While I like moist, but I don't like soft! Like some chicken, when you bake it, it becomes all soft and stuff. But this pork rib turned out to be SO SO SO SO GOOD. Homg, it's all chewy and tender. The marinate is so good, it comes across to me as barbecued or grilled or something. It's not all saucy at all. I love it and I'll definitely order it again when I go to El Cerdo. I absolutely adore it.




So yummy, no leftovers at all.







Then we wait for Pasta Primavera. I ordered this. We were happy eaters! Haha, so satisfied with our meal. We were actually not full at all by the end of the ribs. I don't know what happened to me. & we're actually considering to order a Pork Knuckle. I love pork knuckles. Good thing we didn't. The pasta turned out great too! It was pesto sauce, creamy tomato sauce with herbs, with prawns and vege. Very girly dish right! The cream was very nice, I'm not a fan of tomato sauce, but this was great!

This dish really filled us up, and we were thankful for not ordering another dish!



That was all the good we had. So then we waited for dessert. It made me so impatient waiting for it because Jun Wei said it's so good! It's called Yin & Yang for reasons that are still unknown to me. I think rapberry ice cream, mango or strawberry ice cream, and vanilla ice cream altogehter in different layers. There are lots of fresh fruits inside. I tasted strawberries, mangoes and blueberry's? I'm not sure. and it's topped with fried Pu Er leafs! I love those stuff, so crispy. At the bottom of the cup was molten chocolate. That took me by surprise. It was overall yummy, but not my type because it's a little like a sorbet. I'm not much of sorbet person, although it was very refreshing from the heavy-ish meal!






So that was it for dinner. We actually finished around 8.30pm! Which was pretty early. Then after picking up the car, we went to Pavilion, deviating from our original plan, which was going to Sky Bar. I wanted to buy something, and I didn't really want to drink. Moreover I don't want Jun Wei to drink and drive!

I walked a little bit. Went to MAC cuz I thought of buying a lip tint. Been big on make up lately... At last I didn't buy it because the gay salesman is so not nice. I don't want to elaborate on his stupidness. I don't know why, but make up stores always look so intimidating to me. The harsh lighting and the dolled up flawless salesgirls make me feel so ugly.

Anyway,
Walked around and I bought a charm! I've always wanted a new one but never had the money to buy. My mum didn't want to buy for me. It was pricey for something so small! But my charm bracelet only had 2 charms... So yeah. I bought a sun, cuz I have a hummingbird and a flower. I thought maybe my bracelet should have a garden theme! Also, yellow is my new favourite colour.



So after that we wanted to have a drink at some beer house named after some German name, but it was filled to the brim. Even La Bondega! Thus we went to Haagen Daaz outside Sungai Wang. I had my favourite! Vanilla ice cream with roasted almond nibs. It's the best combination ever. Haagen Daaz's vanilla ice cream is so creamy and it taste so different from the normal Nestle vanilla. I eat thiseverytime I go to Haagen Daaz. Jun Wei ordered some Caramel Cream thing. It was not bad, I had that before, just in a form of a cake.









After Haagen Daaz, this sweet guy sent me home. We actually passed by the entrance of his area and on the way back to my house. He could've been travelling for only 15 minutes minus the jam if he wasn't fetching me home. I'm so appreciative that he took the effort to fetch me home, and going through jams! I almost fell asleep in the car but I had to keep my eyes peeled open to look at the road for him, just in case. Also I don't want to die without knowing what happened CHOI.


So now I'm here blogging on my bed. This post is like some kind of El Cerdo Advert, I don't know why... But yeah, I hope you enjoy reading it. (:
Thursday, September 2, 2010

I'ma bee.



This is a very unsuitable time to blog, I have exams tomorrow, and I know close to nothing about the subjects.

I'm such a failure that I hate myself.


I'm not studying now because I don't think there's any use to it anymore right? I probably deserve it, for being all lazy. I never really felt this way before.

Today during Accountings paper, which was hell to me, I saw my friend doing it so quickly and even managing to complete it before time's up! After that she even smiled at me. I'm sure she had a good paper, and she deserves it. I know she studied damn hard for it. I feel so jealous and envious of her, that kind of determination is hard to get.




Anyway, my birthday was yesterday! I had almost 200 wishes on Facebook and I feel so loved. Lol, eventhough they probably just casually wished me. But still!

I didn't really celebrate it, but I definitely felt the love from my family and friends. Especially my mum! She was so nice to me and I'm so touched. We didn't go out and have a dinner like how we used to. My mum cooked so many dishes for me, eventhough she did not say it was especially for my birthday, but I would like to think so! My mum even specially bought a Durian cake for me! & it was really yummy. I love my mom very very much!

My dad as usual, gave me a red packet for my birthday. :D


Yen Yen gave me a call at the night of the 30th, and we talked till the 31st. I miss you very much Yen Yen, can't wait to see you soon! Yen Yen's the awesomest friend, ever. Love you so muchie! I'm going to her house soon to catch up, and paint nails and curl hir and do other girly stuff. Yay can't wait!


and last but definitely not least is Jun Wei. He said he'll bring me out for dinner this Friday. We didn't celebrate on the day itself cuz we had accountings exam the next day. Being terrible last minute student, we had to stay home and eat books. I think I should blog about it, like a real post about Friday. But then a good post cannot be lack of photos right? I'm not the type who takes photos of everything.  Some people takes photo of EVERYTHING. I just can't do it.






I'm 18 now, but I kind of still feel like a little girl. I've had an awesome 18 years, and I hope it'll be like that all the way.

I have not made a birthday wish or blow a cake this birthday. I should've made a wish when the clock strikes 12am that day! Oh well, wishes don't really come true anyway.

Quote Yen Yen's FB status,
Life is what you make of it.


... or something like that.



So my resolutions for the rest of my year until I turn 19 would be

to be more hardworking and to love.

oh, and less bitching. I believe in karma.










Right, I'm going to go now and refresh my terrible memory of economics. Wish me luck and have a good day/night/week.
 

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