Monday, December 20, 2010


2010 is grinding to a halt, which means it's time to pen down an emotional & deep post reflecting on what have we done this year, & that ambitious resolutions for 2011.

Quite frankly, my resolutions every year is almost the same; & that reflective post is really, not that reflective.

I find it hard to put my years into beautiful phrases of sentences. This is why I love lists.

Chronology of  Significantt Events - 2010

I have found my passion - finally! Okay, maybe not much of a passion. But a field of interest that is actually useful. I have a shitload of interest ranging from saving orang utans to baking macaroons. I have decided to study economics, let's cross our fingers that I won't change my mind.

I can now drive. I know, pretty damn awesome. I have a love hate relationship with driving. I love how I can sit in the car and listen to the radio, I hate how people don't put signals when changing lane, or how they tailgate, or how they drive too close to my car's ass, & the list goes on.

I started using (brown)gel liner & colour contacts. Yes, it is significant enough to make it onto the list. 

I made new friends, and lost a friend. No comment.

I'm in college. I miss high school, I don't think I'll miss college the same.  The few things I like about college is that I don't need to get up early, and there much less number of students in class. It's much easier to study when the classroom is smaller and the lecturer is in my face.I enjoy my new subjects, I definitely prefer economics & accounting to chemistry. I hate chemistry! I don't know why I suck so bad at it.

I kind of decided my future education path. I've talked about this before, but I wouldn't be studying at UK anymore. *glass shatters, dream crushed*. Lol, joking. I am disappointed that I will not be doing that, but I can understand why... Maybe next time I have a successful husband to bring me there. I've always wanted to see red telephone booths and thousand year old buildings.

Right, I'm so over doing this list. 

Going off to a vacation soon! I hope I come back with good photographs. Fingers crossed I don't get my ass freezed in the snow. Till then,

...Have a wonderful Christmas!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Till the morning sun will rise

So Jun Wei has been gone for one day, I have not spoken to him for not 24 hours yet, but almost. You see, I'm not sad because he's so many oceans and time zones away from me, I'm sad because he is still on the plane!

Damn, California is far. I always get worried when my loved ones are on the plane. 

Up side is that he should be one hour away from arriving - according to He brought his laptop and handphone. So hopefully there's wifi & he can contact me!

I couldn't really sleep last night because I was worried. Ridiculous, I know. I think I slept around 2 and I keep waking up since then. Terrible. I kept dreaming of him too!

On the brighter notes, I have been keeping myself busy since holidays started.

Yesterday I went to the book store and bought art papers and paint brushes. I actually painted lotus flower yesterday! The last time I painted was Form 3! Haha, I really like to paint. It's almost therapeautic. & it takes my mind of Jun Wei being on a plane!

Yesterday night I went to play basketball, badminton with my siblings. I'm thankful for them. There's never a quiet moment. It was fun despite the games didn't really happen. Due to the windy night & my super lack of skills with basketball.

SO yeah, today I'd be making an apple pie! I already found the recipe. I should go and buy the vanilla ice cream to accompany it. (:


P/S, 2 days ago I went on a 'double-date' with Wee Shen & his girlfriend. We played bowling and I got 9 points in the overall game. SUPER EMBARASSING.

P/P/S, Leaving for Hokkaido in 8 days!

P/P/S, If you're on holiday like me, maybe you'd be interested in this project - the Post Crossing project. It's really fun, you get to collect post cards from all over the world. Go check it out!

Postcards Exchange
Wednesday, December 8, 2010

It's a special day. II

So... It was my Valentine's Day yesterday. Jun Wei & I went out to celebrate it. It's not much of a celebration, but we had a great dinner!

We ate at Sumika, which is located at SS15. I know right, such a bad environment. But the food is superb, even Jun Wei agreed. & trust me, he has such high standards for food. Picky palette. Tsk tsk.

Anyway, it's a yakitori restaurant frequently patronised by Japanese. The chef is a Japanese and the waitress there all speaks Japanese. The price is not cheap, but I would say very worthy for the quality of food you get.

I usually come here with my family, but I decided to bring Jun Wei here because I thought he might like it, & I was so right. 

The Japanese chef, he was so pro okay! He can touch the hot food with his bear hands. & when I say hot, I mean fresh off/ right on the charcoal grill hot!

Clockwise from top left : Chicken wings, Oyakodon (Or something like that.. It's rice with egg & chicken), butter with mushrooms, pork & mushrooms.

Wash it down with a cold fizzy can of beer and a really yummy piece of beef! 

We ordered grilled chicken skin too, but I didn't take any photos of that. It sounds gross, but it's really yummy. Especially for chicken skin fans like me. Jun Wei doesn't take chicken skin and he liked it! It was crispy and salty, perfection! 

Anyway. Jun Wei gave me a gift today. I love it so much.  It's a Thomas Sabo charm. He gave me a charm and a bracelet two years ago, and now I have another charm from him. I love my charm bracelet. (:

Monday, December 6, 2010

It's a special day.

I know it's no where near Valentine, but my Valentine's Day falls on the 7th every month.

Love, it's a special day
We should celebrate and appreciate
That you and me found something pretty neat
And I know some say this day is arbitrary
Love, I don't need those things
I don't need no ring
I don't need anything
But you with me
'Cause in your company
I feel happy, oh so happy and complete

Happy 25th Month Honey Bee.

It gets better everyday. (:

Cake Gives Me Hope.

Recently I found a new love. It's so magical, it's love at first sight. After I got to know him a little more, it gets even better. Now I cannot stop thinking about him, and I cannot wait till I next see him. This time, I'm going to go see him without Jun Wei. I don't want to share. I want to have it all by myself. The thought of it makes my senses tingle, and I cannot forget how it melted my heart and took away all my sorrows yesterday.

It's the berry meringue from Alexis.

The fluffy cream (cheese?), the crumbly brown sugared crust, the sweet and crunchy berries. YUM.

Yesterday, Jun Wei & I decided to go somewhere after college. It has been a long week for me, and for him too. It was like fate, we almost went to Pyramid, almost went to Mid Valley, but finally decided on BSC.

I'm always a cake person, I love cakes! It's my favourite food, right next to ice cream, right next to rice.

A good piece of cake is medicine to cure stress! It's true you know, since desserts is actually stressed spell backwards.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

Lately I have been pondering on what makes me deserving of what I have now?

It's very common for Malaysian families to have a maid to help out with domestic chores. Clearly, many would rather not do house work if they can help it. Thus the development of this (awful?) trend.

I've had a 'kakak' for as long as I remember. My kakaks wakes up at 6am every morning, any later and they'll get an earful from my mum.

They sleep around 11pm or 12am at night. From the moment they wake up, they mop floors and wash clothes till they sleep.

I vividly remember one of my previous kakak sleeps in the store room, because my house then did not have an extra room for the maids. Sleeping with us was not an option. She sleeps on a mattress beside the washing machine, which was behind a rack of detergents. Then, my washing machine was broken, it would hop on the ground and it is really loud. I would remember because I still have it until a month ago.

Can you imagine? Sleeping next to a noisy hopping washing machine, with the smell of Dynamo and Ajax Tile Cleaner soap?

In my free time, like any other teenager, I watch TV and spend my time lounging around the house. When I sit in the TV room, my maid occasionally comes in the mop the floor while I lazily lift my legs up and change my sitting position from leaning on the left arm rest, to lying on the couch. Am I the only one??

I read my books and do homework in my air conditioned and pretty well lit room, & I think that's the only 'hard work' I have to do. After all these 'hard work', I can go to the fridge & take whatever I want to eat. Or just grab the car keys and buy ice kacang, whatever.

I would go on but I really don't want to continue upsetting myself anymore. But I'm sure you got my point right?

So for this thanks giving (even though I don't celebrate it), I give thanks to my very good fortune...

which consist of
my supportive and loving family, my forgiving and perfect boyfriend, my caring Yen Yen, my healthy body, the good weather at night, the chilly morning,  my efficient phone, my comforting iPod, my laptop, Reader's Digests, all my maids I had in my life, and the sky for not falling down. Oh, &; my wonderful Accounting lecturer.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010



It's 8.43am now, and I'm having mathematics at 9am. I'm at the Web at college, so freezing cold.

The laptop at home finally broke down, thus explains the very lack of updates!

Anyway, college commenced 2 days ago. So far, so good. I'm trying to be a better student this semester, I really want to go well for A2, despite I will not be studying in the UK anymore.

It's pretty sad that I am not, but part of me is relieved that I do not need to go through the UCAS application, and the home-sickness. I know I sound so bitter now, but I'm telling the truth! I feel sad though, because I don't get to go to London and experience the whole university life thing.

I always thought I would be able to go you know, to cycle instead of drive and experience season changes, and travel Europe. It's quite a shame that I don't get to go.

My parent didn't want me to go to London because it is too far, they said it'll be difficult for them to come see me if anything were to happen to me. Also, because Jun Wei is going. My mum is afraid he would bully me, or that Jun Wei & I would move in together.

Oh well, I think I'm doing a twinning programme, so I might still have a chance to go there.

My parents suggested me to go to Hong Kong, Singapore & Australia. I would love to go to Hong Kong if they would accept me! It's really difficult to get in there, I will try though, after my A-level. Moreoever, economics is such a competetive  subject.

We'll see. More updates soon! When I get to hang here again, for now I have to go print my notes and go to class.

& you know, lately I really don't like to be in the class. Negative energy. Being there makes me feel angry. However, I'm enjoying the lessons and the quietness. SO yeah. I would love to keep on yakking but I HAVE TO GO.

Friday, November 19, 2010


I have this problem -- I never know how to start a blog entry. Should I say 'HELLO', or like just get on with my point. I think the latter is better, just that I don't really have a point most of the time, it's just a pile of random ramblings.

...... hmm. Whatever.


Anyway, I went out with Jun Wei today. I should stop calling it dates, because dates are so formal. & our outings are anything but formal. I wanted to go watch Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, so yeah!

It was good, especially if you're a Harry Potter fan. I've been watching Harry Potter movies since it first came out, and reading the first ever Harry Potter book. However I gave up on the book reading after The Order of The Phoenix, it was a little too long and too thick for me. Nevertheless, I'm a very big fan of this series.

I have to say, this movie was pretty dark compared to all the others. There are much less bright and funny moments, considering it's coming to an end. Also, there are plenty of deaths which is quite saddening... I did not read the Deathly Hallows book, but I could understand the movie perfectly. However, I don't think a person who has not watched previous movies would understand it.

The thing that makes me go crazy over Harry Potter initially, is Hogwarts! It's so enchanting to see the fancy spells, and things moving by itself, and how magical it all can be! I am most amazed with the moving newspapers, how brilliant! Oh, & not forgetting the 'lifts' in the Ministry of Magic!

However, the Deathly Hallows are more towards the dark eaters and Voldermort. More battles and deaths, like I said, it's a dark one. The 'graphics' or cinematography was really impressive. In one particular scene, the snake was so realistic I screamed.

I bet anyone who is a fan like me would go watch it even if it's not good, and people who don't like HP wouldn't watch it even if I highly recommended it. So, yeah! I love it because I love to hear words like horcrux & muggles & apparating & mudblood & expeliarmus etc. Also, the familiar theme song of HP.


The movie lasted about 2 and a half hours, so after that we went to grab some lunch. We ate at Sushi King but my extravagant boyfriend was not satisfied so we went to the Yogitree after that. I had pretty high expectations of it since he said the food there was really good.

I'm thinking maybe we ordered the wrong food because it really was not that good. However I had a good time there. The music and atmosphere was good for hanging out &chatting.

The pasta was I think cream mushroom pasta, and no, it's not fettuccine, it's something like talata, talala or ta-whatever. Jun Wei said it was pretty good, I'm thinking because he has a taste for western food. Me, on the other hand prefer Asian food. Or western food with an Asian twist. It's a little too cheesy for me, the cream was really heavy, and the pasta was like the Chinese 'pan mee', which made the texture even more heavier. The drink was a mix of beetroot, carrot and apples. It's diluted and iced, not really worth RM12.


SO I guess that put an end to our date, I mean, outing. I always enjoy myself during these outings. It's really fun and I couldn't think about anything else other than us.

I know the photo quality is not nice, & the photo of me is pretty unattractive with the bulbous nose and weird eyes. But sigh whatever la, I'm not exactly in a cheery mood now. I thought blogging will help to distract me from it but I guess it failed. At least all these negative energy contributed to something -- this entry.
Thursday, November 11, 2010

How are you?

I watch YouTube on daily basis, thanks to the iPhone, so I would say I'm a pretty avid YouTube fan and I dig YouTube comedian humor. While it's funny, I never really laugh out loud. I just kind of smirk. But the above video really made me to like this ----> O.O, then I start to laugh. hahaha, I can watch it 10 times and still laugh. I hope it made you laugh, if you hadn't watch it yet.

So anyway,

AS is over! During exams I just cannot wait for it to be over, but now when it's really over, I feel nothing. It's not like I have been working very hard, and to me, AS has been over 6 days ago. So yeah, whatever.

Recently I've been loving gel liners, and dark blue contact lenses. Makes my eyes sparkle. I know, I should really post some photos of myself here... But I really hate camwhoring by myself because it makes me really depressed. iPhone camera somewhat emphasises on all the spots. & lighting in my room shucks, & I hate camwhoring in the toilet. 

Tomorrow, I'm going out with Jun Wei for a casual date. Really love dates like that! Dress up casually and go grab lunch and shop for novels, and then a movie. So comforting.

Oh & did I tell you that Jun Wei & I are 2 years old! Time flies so quickly when we're happy. I love you so much and I'm so afraid of losing you. Again. I was reading this website that I got from Briana's blog, & there are many stories about break ups and girl writing letters of how sad they are trying to get over they're ex boyfriends and all this sad love stories.

Sigh, there's nothing I can do about it but cross my fingers & be the best person I can be. I read from somewhere that if we, as girls, be the best that we can be, then there's no reason the boy will dump you.

It makes sense to me. (:
Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Turn the radio up, for that sweet sound

It's an old song & it's awesome. I always imagine sitting in the car going on a road trip on a sunny day and listening to that song. Now you can too.

So I finally got started on my statistics, now I'm taking a break, will resume at 4PM I promise.

I was just thinking about Hokkaido. What should I wear? I really don't want to wear em puffy clothes. But then it'll be snowing all the time unless I want to freeze I better wear something thick. I never thought I'll do this, but maybe I should google on winter fashion.

Last time I went on holiday when it's cold at Tokyo, not snowing but cold enough, I wore jeans and super thick clothes and I look really touristy. I'm aiming at something fashionable but warm... since I'll be doing winter clothes shopping over there, then it'll be cheaper than buying here! The coats here are ridiculously priced. I'm thinking of buying a pair of flat boots over there, I think it'll be affordable.

Anyway, I'm blogging now listening to this Eric Carmen song, makes me wanna go to Phuket again. So in the holiday mood when I have statistics and accounting test tomorrow. This cannot be D:

Jun Wei's back, and I should get back to my stats. G'BYE!
Monday, November 1, 2010


I'm not supposed to be here. I'm supposed to be doing my statistics, which I have not done since my blog entry this evening! D:

Aww man. I'm lousy.

I think I'm getting a little carried away with blogging. Written a long post and deleted it right after.=.= I'm trying too hard.

Ahh, screw it. Going to do my stats. NOW. NOW. NOW.

These are the time when I really want to curse & swear. But I've given up typing swear words for a very long time. Unfortunately I'm still kind of sort of foul mouth. I'm working on it okay! No more F words or A-hole words. 

You know, speaking of foul mouth. I get really foul mouth when I speak with my mum. I think it amuses her. By the way my mum and I speak cantonese, so yeah, cantonese bad words. But not extreme ones like CB or LJ, it's more towards single words. Oh wait, CB & LJ is hokkien right?

Haha, it's cute. Anything to make her laugh, she thinks I'm funny btw. & I think I'm funny too.

& Jun Wei better thinks I'm funny.

Right. GOING NOW. Cheerios!


this is what the photo is, 
the cities crumbling because the floor totally crumbled and massive waves engulfing everything. 
Oh what joy. 

Before I watched this movie, I thought 2012 is a gimmick, like whole heartedly think 2012 is a stupid theory came up by the Americans to make money. I mean, look at all the books, documentaries popping out after the movie. Before this, I have never heard even heard 2012.

Sure, I've heard of Judgement day and the day the world ends, but they normally happen in like 50 years from now at least & I really don't care about it cause I might be dead by then? But 2012 is 2 years away and that's VERY close.

If 2012 really happens, I think I'll just sit in my room and cry? I really couldn't bear seeing my family going away from me. I cannot imagine that I'm not going to grow old and die after all. I wouldn't even know what to say to my parents, siblings, Jun Wei? By then I love you would be such an understatement.

I wonder how would the world react when it's really 20 December 2012. Would there be a celebration of public holiday? Or some religious thing? Whatever happens, when 21 December 2012 comes, I WILL celebrate. & then go kill the producers of the damn movie. 

Such a depressing movie. To those that have not watch it, don't watch it. Keep being a non-believer like you are now. I regret watching it.

You know what is more depressing than 2012? Statistics. Which is what I'm going to do now...

Or maybe later. These damn nerdy specs are making me drowsy. 

until then! Do not watch 2012. <3
Thursday, October 28, 2010

Popping a Quickie!

Ok, so I'm going to study tutor2u right after this, pinkie promise.

I just have to get some really random things off my chest because I'm just so excited.

First off, I already have plans to look forward to right after my exams!

1. Attend baking classes.
I have ALWAYS wanted to do this but never found a good place. I have found a place but not sure if it's good. My mum suggested it! I have plenty of baking stuff at home but non of my cakes/cookies turned out as good as I hope it'll be. & when my baking session fails I get really depressed.

So yeah. I'm working towards my aim of making this cake.

I already though of the flavour and everything. But I really can't talk much now. HAVE ECONOMICS TOMORROW.

2. Make some song compilations! And design pretty CD covers.

3. Go for knitting and make a scarf.... or not. Knitting is so old woman like. I don't know.


I like stick figures cuz they're skinny.

I'm at the library now. I came to college at around 9am, which felt like a decade when it's only 12pm now. I did some stuff, like 5 accounting questions and one phone call and few texts.

I know I'm not supposed to be blogging when I have 2 horrible exams tomorrow - accounting and economics paper 2. *terror*

Lol, okay maybe it's not that bad. But still! It's really important considering that I want to take an economics degree in the future!

Anyway, I'm here in front of a computer to study actually. It's not my fault that I'm blogging! Stupid tutor2u website is not loading. It's taking forever to get from one page to another. I depend on this website so much for my economics. ):

I just sit there at stare at the white coloured blank screen for 3 minutes (or more) for it to get into the subtopic I want to go, then wait another 3 minute (or more) to go back to the list of subtopics. Die anot? Waste of my time.

Nothing interesting happened lately.

Except I hit my car at the guardhouse outside my house. I should be thankful I didn't crash into another car in the highway or anything. I went to college and back, and eventually 'crashed' at the entrance to my housing area. The car bumper fell off and my dad had to compensate the residential assosiation for the repairs to stuff that I crashed on.

Umm, I have dark circles now. ):

& oh, I'm going to Hokkaido this year end! Exciting stuff. Cannot wait to use my DSLR again! I don't really like to lug my DSLR to wherever I go because it's so big and I feel like a fool photographing everything I eat and see. I'm no tourist!

Cannot wait to play in the snow and buy cute boots! Oh, and the Japanese food! It's gonna be fun. So looking forward to it.

For now, I'm going to go spend my RM4 on a bowl of pork noodles at the dirty food court. OR, should I go home and eat with my mum at Mid Valley. Decisions decisions..

if you're bored and like cute things like me, go visit this website! I think I got it from Cynthia's twitter, so credits to her.

cute food photos - Sweet Baby Shower Cookies
see more EpiCute

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


This is probably not surprising since I've always been careless, but the pen-drive has always been in my bag when I was frantically searching for it yesterday. Tehee, now I can blog about it.

Actually before taking all these photos, we went to Sungai Wang. Personally, I don't really go there eventhough I know there are hidden treasures there. I'm just too lazy to look through everything, & I always have no time to ransack the place. So this time, Yen & I decided to go there! Pavilion sells lotsa great stuff too but everything is expensive and I guess we did not really wanna spend much that day.

The trip to Sungai Wang was fun! Eventhough all the walking was pretty tiring. Like I mentioned in the previous entry, no trying of clothes is allowed which was the down side of shopping there. Then again, clothes are pretty cheap and nice! We have decided to go there again the next time I go there to sleepover.

So, we bought this jumpsuit thing. Mine is the one on the left, and I'm wearing Yen's one, which is on the right. Nice??? I know. :P I look thinner in Yen's jumpsuit though. :/ 

Anyway, we went to Pavilion for lunch and we (obviously) camwhored in front of the fountain. The camera that we were using was brilliant! There's this small screen in front of the camera to make posing easier, and gosh it's just amazing. It's a Samsung something. I love it!

So after all the photo taking, we went home. Sit & laze around. Haha we were debating whether to shower or not.

Around 8pm then Xin Pin came and we left for La Risata. It's near Yen's house, but I don't really know where. The food there is glorious!

Clockwise from top left
Lime Margarita, Pizza Carbonara, Gin Fizz & Long Island !

And that's about it! There's plenty of photos, but I'm really short of time cuz this entry is taking too long!


Monday, October 18, 2010


Tomorrow I have thinking skills AS exam I'm still here blogging. Bah, it's just thinking skills don't care don't care.

Anyway, you know the previous sad post? In that day alone I had almost 80 hits, when normally I have averagely 15? This proves that people like to see other people sad or something, when there's happy post nobody bothered. Oh well, at least people bothered to read. :P

As an update to that post, Jun Wei & I worked things out. I know it almost looks like we're toying with the relationship, with the break ups and reconciliation. But I choose to believe we're not! I really really like him. I'm glad we're back together and that 'break-up' gave me a new perspective of things. 

Anyhow, I just got back from Yen Yen's sleepover yesterday!!! I had so much fun. Some photos are posted up in my facebook, but there's still a bunch for Yen and I's private collection. I wanted to share some in my blog but I took her thumbdrive home instead of mine. -.-

I will post those photos up as soon as I got my thumb drive back, I cannot wait to blog about them! Also, flaunt those pretty photos we took that day.

There's many highlights of the day, but one thing that really made my day is this. See the jumpsuit I'm wearing?? It's only RM25! So worth okay! Bought it at Sungai Wang. Loves it. The thing about Sungai Wang is that no clothes trying is allowed, which is pretty annoying. Everything is free size though, so you just have to take a risk and buy it. I really love this. Yen bought one too, but hers is a different print, it's floral! I like hers too.

By the way, this photo is taken on the way to Xin Pin's awesome car. We just had dinner at La Risata, they serve the best Pizza Carbonara there. It's not too cheese, everything is just right. Also, they have really nice Gin Fizz! I'm totally hooked on that drink. It's not too alcoholly, it taste like lemonade, but sweeter and has an extremely light gin taste. I always hated drinks that is too heavy on the alcohol, I'm not a very good drinker.

I'll go on about this outing when I get the thumb drive back. Cannot wait!

Anyway, Jun Wei's birthday is coming real soon! It's next Monday but we're celebrating it this Saturday. We've decided to have dinner at Crystal Jade Restaurant, The Gardens. I've always loved fine dining Chinese food. I'm going to have a headache these few days thinking what to buy for him!

Right, gonna go eat dinner and play need for speed with Jun Wei later.

Oh, yeah by the way Yen,

Thank you so much for the company, I cannot wait till I next see you. When I can finally dye your hair yay. Love you! 

Blur sisters forever. :P
Wednesday, October 13, 2010

My letter to you.

So I just ended my almost 2 year relationship yesterday. I'm pretty much depressed and sad, but I won't have it any other way. I wish it didn't have to end this way, heck, I wish it didn't have to end.

What's done is done, what said is said. I am not going to sit here and hold on to the past. I don't miss you, I miss the relationship I thought we had. 

After so long, all I have now is wounds and also I have many happy moment which is now worth nothing at all. This probably does not effect you as much as it effects me, but what to do, you're just being an ignorant guy.

It's really difficult to go through this. Everything I see and feel reminds me of you, every minute I feel like breaking down to sob but you're not there for me like you promised you would. I remember your phone number like how I can remember my name, but I don't dare to call you. I'm not supposed to.

I'm mad at you for letting it end like this, but then again, there's nothing we can do about it.I'm mad at you, that all the promises you made for me sums up to nothingness, sums up in this post where I type sobbing alone. I'm mad at you for breaking my heartlike this, cause I loved you so much.

I only wanted you to fetch me home, why is that so hard? I wanted you to be the one to fetch me, I wanted you to want to fetch me. Of course I have other alternatives, but I just want you.

Since it's so difficult for you to do this, then really, there's nothing worthy enough for both of us to stay here anymore.

It pains me so much when I'm reminded of how you tell me you love me so much, and now I'm the one who's sobbing. Proves that I'm right all along, you're a sweet talker. I'm glad that I kind of knew that it's not the truth that you're telling me, or else the hit would be much harder. Although part of me did believe you. 

I wish things was not this way between us, I wish you were a different person. I know things will not change between us, & all I can do now is move forward.

It was all beautiful while it lasted, although I was hoping it would be something more than this. 

Oh well, better luck next time I guess.
Monday, September 20, 2010

I've messed up.

Many times I've heard people saying they're biggest regret is not studying hard enough. I was browsing through Xia Xue's old blog entry, about how she regrets her pass decision - not studying hard enough

I can feel how she felt while writing it.

I'm still an A-Levels student, I have not taken my AS paper. But I will be, in 3 weeks time. Here I am, blogging, dying my hair, painting my nails, basically wasting my time. While my peers are studying and fending for their ambition. They certainly aim for the moon, accountants, lawyers. Most of them, if not all, aim to go to the best university.

What about me? I sit here bitterly, saying, I don't like to study. I'm going to study locally.

I do not come from a poor background, I know that my family can afford for me to go to any universities in the world. My dad has been telling me since I was young that he is saving up for me to further my studies.

It has never occur to me how foolish and arrogant I am, to say I dislike studying, it is not my forte. Thus, I will not study and I just, couldn't be bothered.

I have never thought that until now.

I am not a bad student, I know. When I see my friends get their As, I know I am capable of that too. I am not being conceited. I have been in elite class in primary school, scored straight As for my PMR. That must meant something right?

When I was Form 4, I really loathed all the subjects, and I did not like to go to class. Up till June, I'm still thinking of changing stream to Arts. Chemistry and add math drove me up the wall! I failed these 2 subjects almost every term. Even when I pass, I pass by 1 mark. I once got 18 for my additional math.

During SPM, I managed to get an A for everything except math and chemistry. I got a B+ for both. I'm not sure if that a good thing? Since they say SPM standard is real low. 

Anyway, say I stuck by my decision that I'm not made to study. I'm sure that I will look back to this day and regret it so much.

I agree with XiaXue, today's society is all about a piece of paper - certificate. Make it or break it, it's all down to this piece of paper. It basically defines you, whether would you be respected, or be looked down upon, it's up to my qualifications. It is unfair to judge a person by a piece of paper, but that's the way it is!

By saying what I say, it is like throwing away my chances to even try to obtain a cert and giving up before testing the water.

I'm really glad that I stumbled upon her entry today. It really inspired me to seize this chance of education and try my best instead of slacking and avoiding reality. In other words, I was being an arrogant and stupid coward.

I convince myself that the situation is not that bad, and live my days without any goals. Heck, I'm even proud of that at one point! Instead of moving towards the goal, I just float around. Doing whatever that makes me feel happy. I thought that everything will fall into place when it comes down to it, you know?

Like, eventually, I'll figure it out. Eventually, I'll do it. Eventually, I'll know. But when does eventually, eventually comes? Never.

I must stop living my days like this! Whining and complaining, while not doing anything about it. I've been stupid and lazy, and yet not realising it!

I promise that I will never procrastinate from this moment on, and live my days towards my goal. Meanwhile, my goal would be scoring for AS. Few months from now, you will be hearing good news from me on this blog.

Here is the link to XiaXue's blog entry, I hope it inspired you as much as it inspired me. Time is precious,and when you look back, there's not space for you to remorse. We're still young and we still are able to change our future, so lets wear an iron suit and start working our asses off. I assure you that you will not regret it.
Sunday, September 19, 2010


It's 11.42pm now and raining cats and dogs! I'm supposed to shower but my brother once told me that I'll get shocked by the lightning if I shower when it's raining.

As much as I want to, I cannot sleep without showering. Don't judge me okay! I've been out the whole day! Bought some stuff.

Stuff as in 3 tank tops from Banana Republic, they are identical but different colours, so now I have 4 same tank tops. I just realise I bought the salesman gave me the brown one instead of pink one that I picked! Shit damn lazy to go back and change. Hate it when this happens lo. Anyway, I just love the cutting and the pale colours, also tank tops are so versatile okay. Can go with anything! Looks good with mini skirts, jeans, under jackets, shorts, everything. Love it. Okay the photo cannot really see the colour, it's yellow, green and brown and pink. Nice or not? I bought RM165 for 3, I actually bought the yellow one earlier on. Bought the other 3 today.

I bought a chocolate colour nail polish from Revlon. Watson's now got promotion, buy 1 free 1, in other words, RM10 for one bottle since usually it's RM20 for one bottle. It looks good enough to eat, now I have yummy nails. The gold colour I have one noe is not bad right? Actually bought it from Tokyo few years back. You know how nail polish normally smell deadly? This one smells like flowers, so damn amazing. Japanese are so awesome.

Also, I bought another pack of Liese Glossy Brown hair dye. They're pretty effective I guess, I dyed it once already but the colous is not obvious enough for me. So since I'm already saving a bunch from colouring it in the saloon, I bought one more to dye it again. Lol the photo of the girl in front of the box so cinapek right. Her nose so big.

And.. a tube of Oxy-5 Pimple Cream. I know, so un-glam after all the glam stuff I bought. Oh well, I have zits okay. I don't like it, but since I'm so lazy when it comes to skin care I probably deserve it. At least it's not too bad!

Crap it's still raining, so super heavy, that got thunder and lightning type of rain you know. I must shower anyway. I hope I won't get electrocuted! Should rain when I'm asleep maa, why now. D:
Saturday, September 18, 2010


I just came back from Penang yesterday! It was initially a 3 days 2 nights trip, but the hotel sucked so bad, we decided to cut it short. Also, there wasn't much to do there.

So it was about 10am in the morning when we leave, and we reach Kuala Kangsar to eat lunch. So it was a really small village like place and my dad said the food there is yuh-mee. They serve normal chinese food, their specialty is really fresh fish. My dad said everything there is organic, just because it's a village. Lol, I don't know about that.


Clockwise from left top: 
Steamed Patin Fish, Fried Chicken, Claypot Catfish, Pork Ribs and fishball-like things.

After the break we continue the journey to Penang. It took longer than I thought! Passed by all the mountains and forests. I was so happy when we reach there, passed by the Penang bridge. My brother, Heng Jian, as always is fascinated with the sea. 

So after that we checked into the horrible hotel, Gurney Hotel. It's so old! We seldom come to Penang, so I thought Gurney is pretty reputable, so I stayed there. I didn't take photos of the gross stuff because I was grossed out. We stayed at the 2 bedroom suite. So it was fully carpeted, but the carpet felt dirty. The toilet floor tiles had some black greenish moss growing out of it. The service was just as bad. We arrived the hotel at 3.30pm, and the room wasn't ready till 4.30pm. The front desk wasn't apologetic about it either, she was on the phone for so long. Moreover, I already specificaly told them we probably arrive at 3pm! So yeah.

The only nice thing about the room was the view. The towels were limited, there were only 1 towel in the whole room. So yeah, there was no system and it sucks. The phone was not working either! The button linking to the front desk was shit.  However it was really cheap la, RM450++ for a 2 bedroom suite. So I guess I can't blame em?

So anyway, during the 1 hour delay, we went to Lorong Selamat for the  Char Koay Teow and ice kacang. Sadly they weren't open that day, so we had some other char koay teow and ice kacang at some other coffee shop. It's not bad, but unworthy of a mention? Plus I didn't take photos of it.

At night, we went to Goh Swee Kee Restaurant, credits to Jun Wei who recommended it.

The dish on the left is my absolute FAVOURITE. I forgotten to take photos of the rest.

So after that, we wanted to check out of the Gurnet hotel and stay at G Hotel, it is at the same row, which probably had the same sea view. So G hotel is more expensive than Gurney, but undoubtedly much much more swanky. I should have done my research and booked that instead. It was RM1020 or around there for a 2 bedroom suite. We wanted to see if we can check out from Gurney Hotel before booking there, so just took a name card and left.

Beside G Hotel is Gurney Plaza ( I think ), so we went to have a walk. In my opinion, there's no use doing shopping at other states. I'm sure KL has what they have. The shops were pretty similiar to the ones at KL, other than Versace Jeans. I don't think there's Versace Jeans in KL? So anyway, my brother wanted to go to Toys R' us...

And Gurney Plaza is right next to the infamous Gurney Drive food stalls. I know the food there is over rated, but we went anyway, as typical dumb tourists!

Right, the food is not good. Some is not even the 'okay' standard! i tried one bowl of asam laksa which is not spicy at all, instead it is sweet. So yeah. But the atmosphere is great.

So that's it for the day! Wanted to go to Pulau Tikus Wet Market for Char Koay Teow and Curry Mee but I didn't know the way. The GPS didn't seem to know either...

The next morning, we woke up being so uncomfortable because 3 person had to sleep on a super king size bed. Don't be fooled by the term 'super king sized', it's still pretty small when 2 adults and one 11 year old sleeps on it together sharing one blanket. I was too tired to notice but my mum said the sheets smelled weird. Oh no. Cannot help but wonder if it's been washed since the last guest?

Anyway we immediately packed up and check out of the hotel, it was between checking into G hotel, or go home. We chose to go home because there's no where like home, and we don't know what else to do in Penang.  We had our awesome last meal(s) before bidding goodbye-farewell-I'm-never-coming-back.

We had brunch at Song River, at the Gurney Drive row, facing the sea. We ate here the previous time we came, I think it's pretty damn good! 

clockwise from left top: fried egg and prawn ( it looks and taste damn amazing! Like half steamed and half fried? ), pork stomach soup, deep fried prawn meat & sengkuang wrapped in foo chok and claypot fish head. The sauce for the claypot fishhead is very nice! Loves.

My brother who's fascinated with the ocean wanted to go sit at the pavement so I went with him and took some photos. It was pretty smelly there, with the salty water and muddy beach! Result of people throwing rubbish over there. I can't help but wonder what would it look like if the beach is actually clean, and the sea is blue instead of a murky brown. ):

We also went to Ghee Hiang, what's a trip to Penang without buying the famous biscuits made with pork lard?

Finally went to Lorong Selamat for the iconic Char Koay Teow and Ice Kacang. How many times have I mentioned Char Koay Toew in this post?!

and that marks the end of my Penang trip.

I would say the trip doesn't exactly rock? But the company is certainly great. I love every moment spent with my good ol' family. They're so funny and annoying at the same time! I love them to teeny weeny little bits. From the 4 hour long car ride through hutans and mouldy hotel, I cherish every second of it. <3

Signing off! This post took me SHO long! & I have 2 more things to blog about, my brother's birthday and my outing today! Will update soon if I have a chance to, since bloody college is starting soon. D:

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Would you save my soul tonight?

What makes you happy?

I like to spend my time doing nothing, it makes me happy. Is that a sin?

I like to spend my time cooking, talking to my mum, eating in the kitchen, playing badminton with my siblings, day dreaming.

It makes me happy.


: D


I know, there are things that I am supposed to do, in order to keep being happy (?) Such as, filing up all my notes, studying, read books? But I don't like to do such things! It makes me unhappy, well not exactly unhappy. I just prefer to be downstairs hanging out with my family.

(For some reason, I feel that children who are upstairs all the time are not filial)

I feel like such a horrible person because I hate to be doing things that I am supposed to do, instead I waste my time away! I know I complain a lot, and not many people can take my rants. I know I'm complaining but yet not doing anything about it, I don't need you to tell me.

Gosh I feel like such a wreck now. Do I have to change? Must I? I don't think I can change into that kind of person! I'm just not the type who likes to study and do stuff so prim and proper. There are people who are in to that kind of things right? Or, everyone are just like me, but they are more well disciplined and do not behave like me?


At the end of the day, I know I'm the one who is wrong, the way I am behaving. I know I have to change, though I REALLY don't think I can.

Sorry for this horrible post. I don't know who to talk to. & I'm contradict myself like that. So miserable


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